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Today, my mom told me to follow her car closely to my aunt's house. I kept really close to her which caused me to get pulled over for tailgating. I explained everything to the cop so he went over to my mom to see if that was the truth. My mom said she didn't know me. I got a ticket. Thanks mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64064) - you deserved it (3429)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by newdriver (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65050) - you deserved it (6427)
On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36122) - you deserved it (4877)
On 05/07/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Bucks9 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76022) - you deserved it (203414)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89023) - you deserved it (14376)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62256) - you deserved it (20225)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (6897)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (45648)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38631) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38631) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15342) - you deserved it (50680)
On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (46881)
On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53994) - you deserved it (10184)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94870) - you deserved it (4895)
On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you deserved it (4700)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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