About breathemein : 18. Boston. Senior
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Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58581) - you deserved it (4253)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (7844)
On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33787) - you deserved it (28094)
On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (7485)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39817) - you deserved it (3138)
On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51133) - you deserved it (4331)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (36672)
On 05/25/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by AquaRevolver (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58225) - you deserved it (18719)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (7352)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38395) - you deserved it (6781)
On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11764) - you deserved it (40106)
On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickleing my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44609) - you deserved it (4459)
On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (8245)
On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (12066)
On 05/15/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6184) - you deserved it (69523)
On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Friday 24 May 2013
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