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breathemein's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML
by Taylor D / 08/07/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm / United States / Health
by wtf / 06/20/2011 at 3:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/20/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by youngblood / 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML
by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 5:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML
by anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
by suze44 / 06/13/2011 at 10:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 4:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML
by scruffy / 05/10/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
by toiletgirl / 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML
by sadsadlady / 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy
by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, due to a spate of burglaries, I updated the security on my house. Latches, locks, gates, I… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…