About bradley5055 : im a university student
ohh im a linguistics major (dont ask what i want to become cuz i dont even know the answer to that question)
also ive read every fml so far
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40352) - you deserved it (8763)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31074) - you deserved it (65739)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (459941) - you deserved it (571523)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78144) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78988) - you deserved it (2817)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking from my office to the place i had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. As I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78988) - you deserved it (2817)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Chops (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48004) - you deserved it (3234)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48004) - you deserved it (3234)
On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I tried to surprise my parents by coming home from college for Spring Break. I arrived to find a dark house, with all the doors bolted shut. After calling them, I found out that they have gone on a vacation to Hawaii for a week. I am now locked out of my own house, with no where to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (9549)
On 03/09/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by Abandoned (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47766) - you deserved it (9465)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:53pm - kids - by monty (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72309) - you deserved it (24222)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72812) - you deserved it (3615)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51817) - you deserved it (3588)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50972) - you deserved it (8326)
On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (56809)
On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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