bradley5055

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bradley5055

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 31 August 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 24754
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bradley5055 : im a university student
ohh im a linguistics major (dont ask what i want to become cuz i dont even know the answer to that question)
also ive read every fml so far

bradley5055's page activity

Visits<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 5:17am<b>TSummers</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:53pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 2:25pm<b>brandon3747</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 3:17pm<b>LordGrew</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:09pm<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 6:28pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 5:05pm<b>Tari</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 12:29am<b>laurenxxxhacker</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:32am<b>DisturbedJunkie</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 10:25pm<b>Robotata</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:59am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:11am<b>crushfly01</b> - the 07/28/2010 at 5:55pm<b>Fentown</b> - the 06/12/2010 at 5:52pm<b>annabellaa</b> - the 10/20/2009 at 12:20am<b>rlgraves</b> - the 10/02/2009 at 10:22am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 10:15pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 1:39pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:25pm

bradley5055's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bradley5055's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

by tara22 / 04/27/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

by panicromanceX3 / 04/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

by helen_ / 04/23/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 11:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

by RockedSystem / 04/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

by BerryRockstar / 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

by Kaboom / 04/21/2009 at 8:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

by woopwoop / 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.