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bottlednintendo

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  • Number of visits : 219
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bottlednintendo's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

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bottlednintendo's favorite FMLs

Today, After Swimming In The Pool, I Went Into The Shower. Little Did I Know That Mah Niece Was Hiding In There. She Excitedly Yelled "I Saw Yur Boobs!" Now Mah Nephew Won't Stop Crying Because He Didn't Get To See Them As Well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51392) - you deserved it (4077)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at Basic Training fir the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You r required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. fat FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60952) - you deserved it (5981)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52923) - you deserved it (12071)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down looool in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there r children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. fat FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (21159)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , while at the doctor's , a week overdue with my frst child , I was told that sex an orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home , my boyfriend asked fir road head , arguing that ( She said that stuff about orgasms. ) Not you , honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56698) - you deserved it (6775)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was telling mah girlfriend about how mah parents r flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because ( It's on the other side of the world. ) We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (6764)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work early and discoverd why my 17-year-old daughter's spraind elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68916) - you deserved it (8108)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

2day whila jogging, a guy tacklad ma an got my iPhona. Baing a good runnar, I caught up with him an grabbad him. Naxt thing I knaw, I was on tha ground with a policaman yalling in my aar. Tha guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (3036)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY, I WOKE UP AT MAH COUSIN'S HOUSE AFTER STAYING THE NIGHT. I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM LIKE I USUALLY DO AND SHUT THE DOOR. APPARENTLY THE DOOR LOCK ON THIS BATHROOM DOESN'T FUNCTION PROPERLY. I DISCOVERED THIS WHEN MAH 4-YEAR-OLD COUSIN WALKED IN ON ME PUTTING A TAMPON IN. MEGA FML

Today, I was on a movia data with boyfriand,han ha askad fir a handjob. I thought I was doing wall until ha sighad, took hand off, an said ha could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53919) - you deserved it (17385)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend got dumpd . I wantd to say, "You must be devastatd", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (12807)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68229) - you deserved it (19326)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling ron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73464) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67479) - you deserved it (9932)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Yesterday, mah wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60607) - you deserved it (9157)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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