bootje

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bootje

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1244
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bootje : What do people want to read in this box?

bootje's page activity

Visits<b>Dreeves66</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:05am<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:49pm<b>Pinto_2015</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:39pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:58am<b>annabrandl</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:07am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:46pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 10:45pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:09am<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:56am<b>lynnly143</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:39pm<b>CameronWilkins</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:55pm<b>cricket55</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:27pm<b>threer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:19pm<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:46pm<b>awkwaard</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:06am<b>JRT1393</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:27pm<b>shelby1123</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 9:04pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 4:45am

bootje's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of bootje's badges

bootje's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:35am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

by slingshot / 09/07/2010 at 1:53am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Transportation

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy