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About bootje : What do people want to read in this box?
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Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33577) - you deserved it (2618)
On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (3465)
On 11/24/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6035) - you deserved it (14983)
On 09/07/2010 at 1:53am - health - by slingshot - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (8399)
On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (16078)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36710) - you deserved it (10617)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (31481)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (2868)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (2845)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (59926)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14952) - you deserved it (55826)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (152814) - you deserved it (15827)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (373031) - you deserved it (413109)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (96635) - you deserved it (16769)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
I agree, your life sucks (76864) - you deserved it (9762)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -
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