Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

boomHEADSHOTllll

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

boomHEADSHOTllll

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 388
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

boomHEADSHOTllll's page activity

Visits<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

boomHEADSHOTllll's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of boomHEADSHOTllll's badges

boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (2086)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you deserved it (3223)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (24790)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (11590)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (4423)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (9158)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (6271)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (9296)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (12441)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38049) - you deserved it (9773)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: