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boomHEADSHOTllll

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boomHEADSHOTllll

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  • Number of visits : 454
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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boomHEADSHOTllll's page activity

Visits<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

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boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (8275)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, while shopping, a lady came up to me and asked if she could borrow my baby because, "Y'know, I'm in a hurry and they'll let me checkout first." FML

#21297177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31940) - you deserved it (2220)

On 11/11/2014 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - France

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

#21290736
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32876) - you deserved it (6357)

On 11/02/2014 at 7:11pm - money - by ethawesome1125 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (21311)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35746) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (3422)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (27949)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (12235)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (2243)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (9176)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40597) - you deserved it (6340)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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