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bodyguerdson

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bodyguerdson

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  • Number of visits : 873
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bodyguerdson's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:57am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:10am<b>emirie</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>twye</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:41pm

bodyguerdson's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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bodyguerdson's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50904) - you deserved it (4182)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43567) - you deserved it (4368)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56335) - you deserved it (6004)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56820) - you deserved it (5522)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56206) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60339) - you deserved it (4385)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58526) - you deserved it (6893)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (9362)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (3509)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79460) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (6238)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58343) - you deserved it (9169)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56491) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56491) - you deserved it (3070)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)



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