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bobbyh19

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bobbyh19

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  • Number of visits : 216
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bobbyh19's page activity

Visits<b>perdix</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:32pm<b>rita0ral</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 8:37pm

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bobbyh19's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35163) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (6279)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

#20857611
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (4903)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:33am - kids - by Alice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52134) - you deserved it (3121)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (5510)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

#20829072
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (9024)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by whyyjustwhy - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49892) - you deserved it (3685)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56966) - you deserved it (8893)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42169) - you deserved it (4986)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (5395)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54803) - you deserved it (6341)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)



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