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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53009) - you deserved it (2692)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (5393)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked. Then said "You know he can't swim right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5399) - you deserved it (44883)
On 09/04/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by babydoll13211 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54598) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (7284)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Dumbweed (man) - United States (New York)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40013) - you deserved it (4930)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (2507)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (1570)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I farted while I was in line at the bank. I tried to pretend it wasn't me by looking at the man behind me and turning back with a disgusted look on my face. I thought I had gotten away with it when the man yells "It wasn't me, this bitch did it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (72761)
On 08/19/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by moutz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56773) - you deserved it (2466)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13444) - you deserved it (58170)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45951) - you deserved it (8303)
On 08/07/2009 at 7:17am - intimacy - by nikkrissa_04 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40196) - you deserved it (7046)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8002) - you deserved it (53036)
On 07/27/2009 at 10:34am - intimacy - by condom_kid (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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