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bob_savage

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bob_savage

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  • Number of visits : 215
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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bob_savage's favorite FMLs

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (9213)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (4172)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

#17877282
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14004) - you deserved it (45989)

On 10/01/2011 at 8:33am - misc - by lollipopgreen - United States (Texas)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (2345)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (1799)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (8241)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (9372)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

#17415513
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39207) - you deserved it (3764)

On 08/09/2011 at 3:35am - work - by smurfpoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33605) - you deserved it (7089)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (4345)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (10099)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

#15927164
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (17415)

On 04/25/2011 at 10:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12925) - you deserved it (47382)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (5346)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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