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0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 August 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10188
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bluten : I'm a university student. This site is my new favourite home base for procrastination. VIVA DISTRACTIONS!

bluten's page activity

Visits<b>turdwrangler</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:54am<b>confusedklutz</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:03pm<b>gej12345</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:33am<b>Rawrr_I_Guess</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 2:14pm<b>timotay89</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:08pm<b>HanselF</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 12:15am<b>miwako</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 10:04am<b>channypie</b> - the 02/10/2012 at 3:31am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:02pm<b>CanadianMercedes</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 2:43pm<b>smackyou</b> - the 06/30/2010 at 9:03am<b>Mr_Chocolate</b> - the 06/22/2010 at 1:19pm<b>Serpico</b> - the 03/08/2010 at 1:42am<b>joeinthedark</b> - the 03/04/2010 at 2:31pm<b>Kojakbw</b> - the 02/11/2010 at 2:02pm<b>brandnewkey</b> - the 12/11/2009 at 11:03am<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/08/2009 at 9:58pm

bluten's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bluten's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

by ApparentlyIFail / 11/20/2009 at 4:30am / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

by whysheheartless / 11/03/2009 at 2:24am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

by HungryGirl / 10/24/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

by Anon / 10/03/2009 at 7:43am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Love

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

by silvercity09 / 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

by chelserusera / 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML

by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous