Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About bluesoul : My favorite color is blue my second is black.I'm a animal person and my favorite animal is a tiger or wolf.I like drawing and my favorite sport is baseball.I like to play games like black ops 2,naughty bear,and castle crashers.My eye color is brown and my hair is dark brown but looks like black(the bottom half looks brown).I like bakery treats and many other foods.I hate exercise but am forced to do it anyway.I like to cook or bake.I love to read my favorite book is "White Fang".Another hobby I have is writing.My favorite music genres is rock/alternative.My least favorite is rap. Well that's me and I can't really judge my own personality so that's for others to decide. Have a great day and/or night.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
Friday 22 May 2015