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blueknight1st

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blueknight1st

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11790
  • Number of comments : 371
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say

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blueknight1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51737) - you deserved it (11301)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

#2560630
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13766) - you deserved it (49563)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by whatzthehell (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#2529769
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (24534)

On 06/02/2009 at 11:33am - animals - by dumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (52562)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (44421)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (47579)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (72932)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52830) - you deserved it (2966)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68859) - you deserved it (7763)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
750 comments

I agree, your life sucks (302062) - you deserved it (164278)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70755) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

#2252019
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13158) - you deserved it (57182)

On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45643) - you deserved it (154070)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15235) - you deserved it (235887)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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