About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
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Mobility
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Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57165) - you deserved it (5711)
On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (210340) - you deserved it (95049)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59016) - you deserved it (2585)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8893) - you deserved it (40719)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (109236)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8240) - you deserved it (156178)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (8027)
On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (9975)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17484) - you deserved it (50173)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75278) - you deserved it (35500)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (84671)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97008) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98085) - you deserved it (3914)
On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276443) - you deserved it (23313)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that the beef jerky someone had left on the counter and that I'd been sneaking a few pieces of every morning had a cartoon dog holding two strips of beef jerky. I wondered why nobody else was eating it. It was beef jerky for dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5942) - you deserved it (36095)
On 02/21/2009 at 2:44am - animals - by Chubsley (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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