About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18282) - you deserved it (21518)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I had my friend Mark over for dinner. My Dad asked him what his dad did for a living. We all squirmed a bit when he told us that his dad died last year. We all went about finishing our meal when suddenly my dad says: "I'm sorry, Mark, what did you say your dad did for a living again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/25/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by youzabadgirl12 - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (2827)
On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (50232)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40196) - you deserved it (4990)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52615) - you deserved it (5720)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (4290)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54805) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8726) - you deserved it (56061)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (20651)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38623) - you deserved it (5000)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was cashiering at a grocery store when an elderly woman came through my line buying prune juice. She then whispered to me that last time she bought it, she "blew up her toilet". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31842) - you deserved it (1693)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38690) - you deserved it (2015)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38690) - you deserved it (2015)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31022) - you deserved it (13806)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by FathersDay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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