About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6418) - you deserved it (36584)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (2339)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (8061)
On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15137) - you deserved it (29182)
On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11768) - you deserved it (36697)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (2824)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10146) - you deserved it (43632)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9073) - you deserved it (38240)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33912) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21232) - you deserved it (28457)
On 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Whoops (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36762) - you deserved it (6558)
On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (260120)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (260120)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (17643)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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