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blueknight1st

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blueknight1st

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11787
  • Number of comments : 371
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say

blueknight1st's page activity

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blueknight1st's favorite FMLs

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2163)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51872) - you deserved it (3904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (6396) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (2354)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10717) - you deserved it (47299)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35511) - you deserved it (6344)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10522) - you deserved it (16175)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (6245)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (2220)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

#20068483
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9684) - you deserved it (32979)

On 09/12/2012 at 1:40am - misc - by hahagirl (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

#20065827
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (2087)

On 09/10/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by NotJessePinkmanFFS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (3839)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (3760)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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