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Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain “obscene or offensive language or phrases”. What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you totally deserved it (1027)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4781) - you totally deserved it (18146)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13546) - you totally deserved it (3314)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you totally deserved it (2142)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6018) - you totally deserved it (37835)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18373) - you totally deserved it (4658)
On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4247) - you totally deserved it (24305)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you totally deserved it (1526)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you totally deserved it (5688)
On 10/06/2009 at 4:28am - misc - by coolchicka05 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you totally deserved it (1761)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you totally deserved it (19403)
On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
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On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
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On 09/17/2009 at 1:10am - health - by navyma - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
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On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you totally deserved it (27582)
On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
