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blueknight1st

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blueknight1st
  • Town/Country : Toledo, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 8395
  • Number of comments : 247
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say

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blueknight1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (1384)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (9706) - you deserved it (2642)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (1606)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (1127)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (3156)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (6798) - you deserved it (24188)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (2130)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (10044) - you deserved it (2575)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (5295)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

#14325917 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (2315)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by hahahano (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (39095)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (8746) - you deserved it (23782)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (34941) - you deserved it (10168)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (31069) - you deserved it (10649)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (18010)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)