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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 March 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12676
  • Number of comments : 393
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blueknight1st : Nothing much to say

blueknight1st's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 4:40pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 9:36am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:01pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:20pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 2:17pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 10:58am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:50am<b>manofmerr</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:08pm<b>cjbetz</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 1:19pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:44am<b>Caruci</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:19am<b>Anushka</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 10:03pm<b>TiffyTaffy96</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:59am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 8:24pm<b>toasted1</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:31am<b>Supersid333</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:09am<b>demix</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:17am

Fucked!<b>Anushka</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:03am

blueknight1st's FML badges

I like your style

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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blueknight1st's favorite FMLs

Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML

by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

by ChaoticGamer / 12/23/2015 at 10:15am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2015 at 10:21am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health

Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

by chassezlenaturel / 03/24/2015 at 8:58am / Belgium / Love

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

by heyadrian / 02/20/2014 at 11:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

by anyonmus / 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous