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blueberrypsycho's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
by Dana / 05/10/2011 at 4:36am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health
by HWS / 04/15/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
by Laura / 03/11/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Poopie / 01/29/2011 at 1:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…