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blueberrypsycho's FML badges
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blueberrypsycho's favorite FMLs
Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bluestarr1 / 09/10/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
by why?! / 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML
by jag talar / 09/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML
by ss / 09/06/2011 at 9:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by mike / 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 7:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
by Trimacle / 08/24/2011 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
by Anonymous / 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML
by Reena / 08/19/2011 at 2:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…