About bluberry1995 : Hi I'm casey
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bluberry1995's favorite FMLs
by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Alyssa Charlotte / 07/28/2011 at 10:25pm / Mexico / Transportation
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals
by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work
Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML
by Miriden / 07/19/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 7:04am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML
by MAWZ / 07/19/2011 at 2:33am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2011 at 4:43am / United States (Ohio) / Health
- Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on… Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my… Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in…