"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid."
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32401) - you totally deserved it (3864)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55948) - you totally deserved it (1676)
On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45161) - you totally deserved it (1712)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you totally deserved it (18493)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:51am - love - by dumpedovergame (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66181) - you totally deserved it (6586)
On 06/30/2009 at 1:32am - love - by yoyoyo (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you totally deserved it (2833)
On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you totally deserved it (9822)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204956) - you totally deserved it (7556)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (68571) - you totally deserved it (4594)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58856) - you totally deserved it (2683)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, walking from class to my apartment, I was mugged and had my wallet, phone, and backpack taken from me. As I handed my stuff over I angrily muttered "you're taking everything from but my shoes", under my breath. The asshole heard me, looked down, and demanded my sneakers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36104) - you totally deserved it (43238)
On 03/17/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, I saw two lovely ladies leave my neighbors house, a couple of minutes later he walked out. I made the male international "did you f**k her/them" hand gesture(horizontal fist pump) towards him. He proceeds to tell me they were his daughters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4756) - you totally deserved it (40760)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by OSJ (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48768) - you totally deserved it (13799)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you totally deserved it (846)
On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you totally deserved it (935)
On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - France (Ile-de-France)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
