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blackpuddle
  • Town/Country : Buffalo, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 1668
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blackpuddle : I like penguins.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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blackpuddle's favorite FMLs

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

#19673015
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15998) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15699) - you deserved it (1726)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24329) - you deserved it (2761)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

#19649582
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7362) - you deserved it (19472)

On 05/20/2012 at 12:06am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML

#19648886
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (1608)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML

#19648207
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (2053)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34776) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

#19630951
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (1621)

On 05/16/2012 at 3:36am - work - by jobless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (5422)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14299) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

#19592070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (3787)

On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

#19588733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13997) - you deserved it (3293)

On 05/07/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17845) - you deserved it (1532)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (2528)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, my social-awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

#18244071
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (3910)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by ish0rty - United States



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