blackpuddle

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blackpuddle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Buffalo, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4022
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About blackpuddle : I like penguins.

blackpuddle's page activity

Visits<b>2ophiia</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:18pm<b>LalapaloozaChick</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 3:54pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:20am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:34pm<b>tipoftheday</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:39pm<b>Palan541</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:50am<b>justmeee12</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:25am<b>blueoctober5591</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:01am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:49pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:55pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:22am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:42pm<b>sLaShERR_17</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:21pm<b>TmaxxRuler</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:02pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:01pm<b>MartyMcFlyy</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:41pm<b>FYlife604</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>Palan541</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:50pm

blackpuddle's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of blackpuddle's badges

blackpuddle's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

by goodbye cruel world / 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

by Wolf145 / 10/11/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

by desperate / 10/05/2012 at 5:47am / Malta / Work

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

by AGeeksWife / 09/12/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

by PissedbythePiper / 09/11/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

by balletteacher / 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm / United States / Health

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous