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blackpuddle

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blackpuddle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2362
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About blackpuddle : I like penguins.

blackpuddle's page activity

Visits<b>Same_Heart</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:55pm<b>KayLynn135</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:03pm<b>imalosertho</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:15pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:57pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:56pm<b>vernk</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 10:54pm<b>batah</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:14am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:40pm<b>milzone</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:45pm<b>rapunzel3416</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 5:15am<b>islandgirly</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:18am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:34pm<b>Sports_guy3</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 9:19pm<b>712sash</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 4:58am<b>Gurami</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 2:34am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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blackpuddle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (8528)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (12488)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (5242)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42529) - you deserved it (6337)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (4673)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58604) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (65534)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63229) - you deserved it (14401)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on my way home on my motorbike from a great party in the early hours of the morning, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Riding over a hill, I yawned in anticipation of climbing into bed. A huge winged bastard insect thing then flew straight into my throat. FML

#20689016
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44568) - you deserved it (8331)

On 05/27/2013 at 9:42am - animals - by Nearly Crashed (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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