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bitterlemons

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bitterlemons
  • Town/Country : Delhi, India
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1288
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bitterlemons's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2848)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2848)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29790) - you deserved it (2848)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68138) - you deserved it (17313)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10134) - you deserved it (28929)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (5387)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (116752)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (41477)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44739) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (10763)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39654) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (45261)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10496) - you deserved it (53718)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

#15251436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (35557)

On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved



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