Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

birdman19

Search for a member

birdman19

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4216
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

birdman19's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 2:39am

birdman19's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

birdman19's favorite FMLs

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (4874)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2817)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31774) - you deserved it (3929)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

#13496541
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2815)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (8866)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (3353)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

#13442397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (3460)

On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2936)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2936)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31730) - you deserved it (9506)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

#13382231
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/09/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - Antigua and Barbuda (Saint John)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13502) - you deserved it (39140)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: