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birdman19

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birdman19

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2901
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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birdman19's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

#13893197
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (5450)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13857180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (5919)

On 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (4427)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (7652)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (58929)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28014) - you deserved it (8567)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (7615)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (50291)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62778) - you deserved it (8977)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot, and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized is stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment shivering. FML

#13608595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8165) - you deserved it (21749)

On 10/26/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Bellucy27 - United States

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

#13596248
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (11183)

On 10/25/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9947) - you deserved it (61749)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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