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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5199
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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birdman19's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 2:39am

birdman19's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

birdman19's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

by Arlbethere / 02/25/2011 at 7:18am / United Kingdom (Northumberland) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

by Someone / 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

by Lindsay / 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

by sos / 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

by georgiahick / 12/30/2010 at 9:09am / Intimacy

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Alaska) / Work