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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8229
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

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birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (32089)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12534) - you deserved it (56876)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32909) - you deserved it (6434)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (72335)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33899) - you deserved it (4193)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (4056)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41047) - you deserved it (10114)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10235) - you deserved it (43120)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (23239)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (23239)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (23239)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (53514)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50296) - you deserved it (7815)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13140) - you deserved it (46051)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37526) - you deserved it (16319)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)



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