Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

birdfreak

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

birdfreak

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7694
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>poncho55</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:00am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:35am<b>jesseb97</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:58pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:25am<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:59pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:23pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:08pm<b>auroxtra</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:18am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:44am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:06pm<b>masonthemidget</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:42pm<b>ortega0607</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:10pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:36pm

birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7760) - you deserved it (49232)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (3949)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (4045)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (5991)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (20226)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (20226)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37096) - you deserved it (10100)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (8304)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (14664)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (4586)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13950) - you deserved it (42106)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

#16104577
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (70929)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (3293)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36717) - you deserved it (11799)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (83531)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: