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birdfreak

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birdfreak
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6143
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

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birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (23961)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, I spent three and a half hours creating a Wikipedia page for myself. Three minutes after publishing, it was deleted due to me being a "Non-notable person nobody's ever heard of." FML

#14939182
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7454) - you deserved it (45822)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by shredded - United Kingdom (Richmond upon Thames)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

#14894865
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (3117)

On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48496) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

#14849029
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18047) - you deserved it (8265)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67094) - you deserved it (6318)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

#14727307
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (7280)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by iamlauraheremecry (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

#14721795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:49pm - misc - by Larz (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (7056)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

#14719837
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (7056)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm - misc - by knickersdontfit (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (45687)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

#14695021
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10475) - you deserved it (30362)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)



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