birdfreak

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birdfreak

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14823
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:41am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:43pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:27am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:08pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:31pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:40pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:49pm<b>deitcocaine</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:11pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:21pm<b>ahmad163</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:16pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 5:57pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:53pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:57am<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:34pm<b>rhazisr</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 3:13am<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 4:00pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:10am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:47pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:57pm

birdfreak's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

by dammit hearing aid / 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

by neryc / 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

by E.B. / 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

by fuckmyjob / 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

by idiotson / 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

by I'm Not Dead Yet / 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals