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birdfreak

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birdfreak
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6103
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16737) - you deserved it (28277)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

#15703815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (3618)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

#15531750
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (4863)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (27802)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (27802)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39780) - you deserved it (27802)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (5826)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

#15445630
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32163) - you deserved it (4398)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (25755)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37283) - you deserved it (6635)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (8961)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33474) - you deserved it (6321)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I have no cell phone reception as I am visiting family who lives on the side of a mountain. They told me there was service on top of the mountain, so I hiked up. Only when I got there did I realize I'd left my phone back down at the house. FML

#15342486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10803) - you deserved it (38965)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:25pm - misc - by nooooo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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