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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10599
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:16pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:33am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:58pm<b>daximoose</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:35pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:42am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sspence</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:11pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Franniee_</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:29pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:00am

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
647 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (279520)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML

#1973503
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15596) - you deserved it (54933)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:21am - animals - by killer (woman) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

#1954003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10498) - you deserved it (39050)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML

#1818559
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (77114)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

#1665462
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46501) - you deserved it (8341)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (273479)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55406) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (62977)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

#1490336
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (94155)

On 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm - kids - by Nanny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

#1479670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14977) - you deserved it (50777)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

#1467567
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11113) - you deserved it (73419)

On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (57628)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (35432)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendent. He had my car towed. FML

#1251625
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12243) - you deserved it (64346)

On 04/23/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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