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birdfreak

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birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13114
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

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birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

#2658966
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52954) - you deserved it (8373)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (77818)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (77818)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (37109)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (76138)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (49581)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

#2397124
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (49782)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by ilikecake (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53659) - you deserved it (17450)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51466) - you deserved it (18332)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10560) - you deserved it (46853)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

#2143757
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (54627)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17435) - you deserved it (66088)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (53763)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
660 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you deserved it (293124)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)



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