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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7050
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (6362)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML

#2729
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45435) - you deserved it (2280)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:02pm - health - by Noname - Japan (Fukuoka)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33671) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

#2463
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5406) - you deserved it (19579)

On 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by yacoob - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

#780
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7532) - you deserved it (24453)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (4535)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (26780)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (7921)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (56815)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

#491
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (1945)

On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17905) - you deserved it (8453)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

#356
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (2487)

On 11/21/2008 at 7:53am - misc - by Kourou - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

#258
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22298) - you deserved it (12172)

On 11/09/2008 at 4:18am - health - by Noname - Sent from mobile version



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