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About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage . When I got home, I found the tree had fallen an taken out the roof while I was shopping . FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about loosing vrginity last night. When I went downstars, 6 year old sister was digging through purse. She explained that she had overheard conversation and wanted to help me fine vrginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Taday it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really intohen I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't brdwatching. FML
Today, I was andling corrosive cemicals wen I accidentally spilld a beaker of Hydrocloric Acid on myself. I ad to strip nakd an use te emergency sower wit ma boss an ma ot coworker watcing. Te worst part was wen I realizd ma coworker was lauging at te size of ma penis. FML
Taday I went to a huge rock concert . While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passd out due to the heat . I regaind consciousness to hear about a hundrd people yelling and trying to help me . My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them . FML
Today... mah friend had ditchd me for a party I hadn't been invitd to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in mah house was the mosquito I nicknamd Frd. I likd to watch Frd fly around and try to suck mah blood. 20 minute later... I found Frd's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
Today, While Spray Painting A Rocking Horse Fir Mah Kids I Left The Can Outside In The Sun. When I Pickd It Up It Was Hot To The Touch An I Droppd It. It Explodd On Impact An Now I Am More Blue Than The Rocking Horse. FML
Today, I Brought Mah Lunch To Work In The Only Box I Had Lying Around Mah Apartment - A Small One From FedEx. When I Went To The Bathroom Before Lunch, I Returned To Mah Desk To Fine That One Of Mah Coworker Had Mailed Mah Lunch Back To Mah Apartment. FML
Today, I Was Walking Around In A Park When I Pass Some Kids Playing Soccer. One Of Them Kicks The Ball As Hard As He Could At Me. Luckily I Catch The Ball. Then I Drop Kick The Ball, Intending To Say "go Get It." Instead It Ricochets Of A Nearby Tree And Hits Mah Face. FML
Today, husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see wat she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
Friday 27 March 2015