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birdfreak

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birdfreak
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6088
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

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birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11533) - you deserved it (43090)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (15379)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

#16501427
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (29203)

On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12882) - you deserved it (39208)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61474) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63182) - you deserved it (3602)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (9486)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53265) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (7289)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34602) - you deserved it (5415)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (37408)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (3614)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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