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birdfreak

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birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12734
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:11pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:34pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:42am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:34pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:49pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:19am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:07pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:29pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:16pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:33am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML

#21300330
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (2303)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43322) - you deserved it (3413)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (4582)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML

#21280767
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/18/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by problems - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34493) - you deserved it (12339)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41153) - you deserved it (5628)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (54413)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (4475)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (4104)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (5052)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37680) - you deserved it (3441)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45145) - you deserved it (4218)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)



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Friday 26 June 2015

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