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birdfreak

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birdfreak
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6076
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

birdfreak's last visitors

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birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66777) - you deserved it (6167)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (39126)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (28741)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11879) - you deserved it (55340)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (5943)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (67536)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (3966)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (3793)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9677) - you deserved it (41813)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (21685)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (21685)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you deserved it (21685)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10869) - you deserved it (51118)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46323) - you deserved it (7239)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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