birdfreak

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birdfreak

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18101
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 12:16pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:50am<b>sometimefml</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:13pm<b>metal1245</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 10:25pm<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 3:02pm<b>misspeach13</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:03am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 3:32am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:51pm<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:43am<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:41am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:43pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:27am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:08pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:31pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:40pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:49pm<b>deitcocaine</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:11pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:21pm

Fucked!<b>GlennGuagmire</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 6:16pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:57pm

birdfreak's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

by farksh / 03/07/2015 at 7:14am / Australia / Animals

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

by irwingiggles / 02/08/2015 at 5:26am / Netherlands / Health

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

by coveredupforfun / 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

by pitytitty / 01/09/2015 at 4:11am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2015 at 10:09am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

by skanula414 / 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Kids

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

by CalebNotShomo / 12/25/2014 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

by Recovering Alcoholic / 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Health

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous