birdfreak

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birdfreak

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16553
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Camlin93</b> - yesterday at 10:50am<b>sometimefml</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 11:13pm<b>metal1245</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 10:25pm<b>AudiLover21</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 3:02pm<b>misspeach13</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 2:03am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 3:32am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 12:51pm<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 7:43am<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 4:41am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:43pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 9:27am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:08pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:31pm<b>MonstreBelle</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:40pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:49pm<b>deitcocaine</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:11pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:21pm<b>ahmad163</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 8:16pm

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 11:57pm

birdfreak's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was intently watching my odometer to see it change from 99,999 to 100,000 when I ran into the back of another vehicle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2015 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

by anon / 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML

by simply_meeeee / 07/20/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

by fuckstudentloans / 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

by fuck right off / 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

by lucasbeck99 / 03/31/2015 at 5:35am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2015 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Health

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2015 at 9:20am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

by nomorealcoholeva / 03/14/2015 at 12:52pm / Norway (Nordland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.