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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9817
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Zach_attack_</b> - yesterday at 1:39pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:58pm<b>daximoose</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:35pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:42am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sspence</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:11pm<b>taintedtruffle</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Franniee_</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:29pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:00am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:35am<b>jesseb97</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:58pm<b>boobear19883</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:25am

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (6087)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28202) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (42302)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (10888)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25806) - you deserved it (5363)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (6376)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (11763)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (2488)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
121 comments

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (30646)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

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