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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7261
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - yesterday at 1:08pm<b>auroxtra</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 9:23pm<b>nineteen99</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:18am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:44am<b>ares99</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:06pm<b>masonthemidget</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:42pm<b>ortega0607</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:10pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 4:36pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:29pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 3:39am<b>drewigi</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:54am<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:52pm<b>brittanyx00</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 9:28pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:56pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:23am

birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (4242)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19199) - you deserved it (36687)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33989) - you deserved it (5809)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you deserved it (2537)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (34190)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

#21235686
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (34190)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (5336)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40863) - you deserved it (6040)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (20902)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (22347)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confided to my grandma that I'm suffering from depression and I feel like a burden to everyone. She replied that her grandpa used to suffer from depression too, but that he'd cured himself in the end, namely by committing suicide. Thanks, grandma, thanks. FML

#21226890
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (3545)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:09pm - health - by lacieQ (woman) - Canada



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