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bigbadtim

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bigbadtim
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 December 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 3196
  • Number of comments : 809
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bigbadtim : Meh

If you read this profile, you will be exterminated.

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bigbadtim's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

#13457559
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (3468)

On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML

#13455982
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (8545)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:33am - misc - by fmlforreal - Singapore

Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

#13433715
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (5555)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, I found out the man I'm getting a ride from drives a windowless van and is "excited to see me". My friends had encouraged me to sign up for the cheap-ride program because it was less expensive than taking a train. If I never come back, look for a windowless van somewhere in Europe. FML

#13432201
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/13/2010 at 8:57am - misc - by deadinavan (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I woke up in a field 3 miles from where I'd passed out drunk. This wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't have to walk home through town without my pants. FML

#13417824
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7584) - you deserved it (33643)

On 10/12/2010 at 6:59am - misc - by kronin - United States

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (25583)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML

#13416322
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (25583)

On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (5639)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (5395)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (9135)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (2889)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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