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About bigbadtim : Meh
If you read this profile, you will be exterminated.
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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (808)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Ameel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5298) - you deserved it (969)
On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (10087)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (2503)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8244) - you deserved it (21773)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (7646)
On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States
Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30988) - you deserved it (3329)
On 04/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Israel
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40285) - you deserved it (4332)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6385) - you deserved it (44732)
On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10926) - you deserved it (28529)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27632) - you deserved it (23806)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47759) - you deserved it (8177)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (2716)
On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (2652)
On 10/15/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by IhatebeingtheDD - United States
Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don't even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I'm 15. He's six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (6591)
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