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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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bgukusa00

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bgukusa00
  • Town/Country : Alamo, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4013
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bgukusa00's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (13854) - you deserved it (42684)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (48302)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (8550)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#1564480 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (31118)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

#978628 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (90224) - you deserved it (6653)

On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

#879478 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (55146) - you deserved it (6157)

On 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm - animals - by BadBreath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)