bewer415

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Offline (the 12/27/2014 at 8:47am)

bewer415

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6665
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bewer415 : Love meeting new people

bewer415's page activity

Visits<b>x_the_lancer_x</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:59pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>rachelcasper</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:52am<b>klimrod89</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:04am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 4:44am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:55pm<b>nancy_ydg17</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:11am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:27pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:27pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm

bewer415's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bewer415's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

by Mels / 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

by Cacahuete / 12/28/2013 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

by yarenis / 12/24/2013 at 5:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played in a high school concert. Some alumni of the band were sitting in the audience and were brought to tears. Not because it was beautiful, but because they were sad to see how much the music program had declined since they left. FML

by NotTalented / 12/15/2013 at 10:44pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I found out that if you accidentally step on your boss's dog's tail, yes, you can get fired. But not because you stepped on the dog's tail. You didn't say sorry. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 9:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

by MissDQ / 11/30/2013 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.