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bewer415

Offline (the 11/10/2014 at 12:47pm) | Search for a member

bewer415

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1924
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bewer415 : Love meeting new people

bewer415's page activity

Visits<b>x_the_lancer_x</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:59pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:46am<b>rachelcasper</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:52am<b>klimrod89</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:04am<b>DoubleDie7</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 4:44am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:55pm<b>nancy_ydg17</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:11am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:27pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 4:27pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:21pm<b>olpally</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm

bewer415's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bewer415's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48655) - you deserved it (9553)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41799) - you deserved it (5700)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44519) - you deserved it (13311)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (21855)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49259) - you deserved it (20064)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49365) - you deserved it (4976)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50735) - you deserved it (5476)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (56131)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, my parents left early in the morning to run some errands, and I thought it would be nice to shovel our rather large driveway for them while they were out. An hour later, they returned from the store with a snow blower. FML

#21032937
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46848) - you deserved it (5167)

On 01/19/2014 at 3:35pm - misc - by fail (man) - United States

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46214) - you deserved it (7211)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53546) - you deserved it (32461)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (39411)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

#21025608
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (4085)

On 01/12/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by shakinmahbuttbutt (man) - United States

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41398) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (35142)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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