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Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (4137)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40673) - you deserved it (5247)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (3296)
On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48496) - you deserved it (4639)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36858) - you deserved it (2499)
On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42320) - you deserved it (3423)
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (5170)
On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (4027)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (63260) - you deserved it (5767)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70051) - you deserved it (2668)
On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)
Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35626) - you deserved it (12534)
On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML
I agree, your life sucks (55813) - you deserved it (4772)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by songbird062 (woman) - (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63868) - you deserved it (3906)
On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35402) - you deserved it (14234)
On 05/30/2013 at 5:18pm - health - by :( (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (4613)
On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 17 June 2013
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