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bethan1's favorite FMLs
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
by Username / 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Work
by hushnow / 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML
by LimpMcgee / 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…