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Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17774) - you deserved it (2709)
On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40035) - you deserved it (7604)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (3783)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15676) - you deserved it (8646)
On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (2483)
On 02/07/2011 at 1:04pm - work - by hushnow - United States
Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (2379)
On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15654) - you deserved it (22372)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59841) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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