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bethan1's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
by OhDear / 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
by Eric Forrest / 02/24/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
by Annie / 02/24/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
by Whatever479 / 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Aled / 02/17/2011 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Animals
by clashgurl8449 / 02/17/2011 at 3:08am / Health
by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids
Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML
by datingamoron / 02/14/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…