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bethan1's favorite FMLs
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my coworker returned the camera I lent her. After plugging the camera into my PC, I saw a file was still on it. Wanting to make sure I didn't delete something important, I opened it. To my horror, it was a video of my coworker pleasuring herself. She's old enough to be my mother. FML
by Traumatized / 03/05/2011 at 2:57pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML
by anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 12:34am / France / Miscellaneous
by duncanisgey / 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by me / 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by nothingisreal69 / 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm / Reserved / Animals
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/01/2011 at 11:21am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by notacatperson / 03/01/2011 at 5:41am / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Animals
Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML
Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
by Sam / 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love
by Arlbethere / 02/25/2011 at 7:18am / United Kingdom (Northumberland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…