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Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (3365)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (7361)
On 03/20/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by embarassed - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (3632)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32267) - you deserved it (5581)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16768) - you deserved it (14358)
On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -
Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (2787)
On 03/10/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by dumped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (7130)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (4295)
On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -
Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (3478)
On 03/10/2011 at 2:53am - misc - by jules - United States
Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (4858)
On 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm - misc - by ants9omarching (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13130) - you deserved it (29202)
On 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by anonymouse - Reserved
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (5554)
On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33762) - you deserved it (3005)
On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (4391)
On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Monday 20 May 2013
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