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Today I draggd my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself!! Halfway through he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy!! I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant I'm just fat!! FML
Today, at te Mommy and Me dance class tat I take ma four year old daugter to, te instructor ad us do a stretc, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daugter said to me, ( But you're not a mermaid, you're a wale! ) FML
Today, I Got A Super Short Pixie Cut!! All Mah Boyfriend Could Do Was Stare At Me, Speechless!! I Thought He Was Taken Aback By How Cute It Was Until He Told Me That I Look Exactly Lyk Mah Fifteen Year Old Brother!! FML
TODAY , MY BOYFRIEND DID THE AUSTIN POWERS DANCE/STRIP-TEASE WHILE DANCING TO 'I TOUCH MYSELF'. IT WAS CUTE UNTIL HE RIPPED OFF HIS SHRT AND REVEALED THAT HE'D SHAVED HIS CHEST HAIR IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS. FML
yesterday I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on mah iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML
Friday 27 March 2015