About bestnameright : I'm too awesome to describe in so little space.... But I guess I'll try. First off, yes I'm ginger and a Jew. I don't really care if you make jokes about it as long as they're not too serious and they're funny... On that note my favorite Jew joke is: why do Jewish men get circumcised? Because Jewish woman like everything 20% off! My favorite commenters on this site are: thesqueaky chipmunk (all time favorite), DocBastard, and Perdix. My profile picture is a painting of some presidents in a mural in DC where I live.
You can message me but you probably get a response because I mainly use the app (well now you'll always get a response since the app has messaging :). I don't mind some bad spelling and grammar but if it's really bad or we're having a comment war you're going to get called out. Hasn't this gone on for too long?
PS Please moderate FMLs, it leads to more recent FMLs to coming out soon!
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (61026)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7128) - you deserved it (24290)
On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16247) - you deserved it (40881)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43810) - you deserved it (2806)
On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43810) - you deserved it (2806)
On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (3787)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (56240)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15618) - you deserved it (56240)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71451)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71451)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (71451)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (6631)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (61543)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42384) - you deserved it (6311)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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